Her third dress
ripped. “Urgh!” Benita sighed. These online malls had a habit of delivering Mr
Ibu when one ordered for RMD. She had told the communications executive that
size 8 was what she wanted! Size 8! Never mind that she stopped being a size 8
the week Domino pizza moved to her street.
Her husband was
coming home after six months of fighting Boko Haram in Sambisa forest and she needed
to look her best. Knowing her husband, he would head straight for the cobwebs
down there before noticing she had put on a little weight. Okay, not so little.
With the rate at
which marriages crashed these days, and the lack of agile men versed in Bed-o-logy,
there was no way she was letting Desmond visit “Edible Catering”, by any fault
of hers. She was more than edible
enough. What was she to do with all these ripped dresses though? She would call Beatrice.
“Babe, how far?
Are you dolled up yet?” Benita asked her friend on the other end of the line.
“Dolled up? No
oh. Raymond would rip my dress. I had my bath and placed some bananas and pear
in strategic places. I’m sprawled on the dining table as we speak!” Beatrice
laughed.
“Ah, Beatrice!”
“Ah what? You
ought to join me” her friend giggled.
“There is a
problem. I can’t be naked. All those bottles of small stout and pizza have
conspired against me. I bought three gowns but none fit.”
“I warned you
though. I warned you to start taking Slimtea with me! You can see the
difference between your struggle and my own abi?”
“I know, I know.
I’m ordering Slimtea tomorrow. But I’ll go nude and tell you how it goes later.
Best of luck with your husband!”
Benita cut the
call, stripped to her birthday suit, brought out her heels and stood arms
akimbo in the middle of the room, with a smile on her face.
Desmond walked
in with a grin and saw his wife in all her naked glory.
He dropped his
army knap sack on the floor “Ah. Who is responsible for your pregnancy?”
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