Edible Cathering!

Her third dress ripped. “Urgh!” Benita sighed. These online malls had a habit of delivering Mr Ibu when one ordered for RMD. She had told the communications executive that size 8 was what she wanted! Size 8! Never mind that she stopped being a size 8 the week Domino pizza moved to her street.

Her husband was coming home after six months of fighting Boko Haram in Sambisa forest and she needed to look her best. Knowing her husband, he would head straight for the cobwebs down there before noticing she had put on a little weight. Okay, not so little.

With the rate at which marriages crashed these days, and the lack of agile men versed in Bed-o-logy, there was no way she was letting Desmond visit “Edible Catering”, by any fault of hers.  She was more than edible enough. What was she to do with all these ripped dresses though? She would call Beatrice.

“Babe, how far? Are you dolled up yet?” Benita asked her friend on the other end of the line.

“Dolled up? No oh. Raymond would rip my dress. I had my bath and placed some bananas and pear in strategic places. I’m sprawled on the dining table as we speak!” Beatrice laughed.

“Ah, Beatrice!”

“Ah what? You ought to join me” her friend giggled.

“There is a problem. I can’t be naked. All those bottles of small stout and pizza have conspired against me. I bought three gowns but none fit.”

“I warned you though. I warned you to start taking Slimtea with me! You can see the difference between your struggle and my own abi?”   

“I know, I know. I’m ordering Slimtea tomorrow. But I’ll go nude and tell you how it goes later. Best of luck with your husband!”

Benita cut the call, stripped to her birthday suit, brought out her heels and stood arms akimbo in the middle of the room, with a smile on her face.

Desmond walked in with a grin and saw his wife in all her naked glory.

He dropped his army knap sack on the floor “Ah. Who is responsible for your pregnancy?”

Amber Rose reacts to being called out for not speaking about cops killing black people

Military, Boko Haram currently in gun battle in Maiduguri

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